Chris was then told that he could be seen as an outpatient, he was allowed to stay with me at the Fisher House and go to the hospital for his therapies. The day he was being released to the Fisher House, more of the soldiers from his unit came to see him; they were all amazed at how well he was doing. They had brought Chris’ car up to me and all his things from the barracks. He went for a ride with the men and I spent time going threw the bags they had brought. I sat on the floor in tears for hours wondering if he would ever have a chance to do the things he loved, run, drive, or most of all return to the Army. 
The Fisher House is an amazing place where 8 families live together in a large house. Each family is dealing with health issues of a family member. This setting was great, for both Chris and I, he had a chance to feel like a person instead of a patient. I had a chance to talk with others that truly understood. We spent our free time going on outings and talking with the other “family” members. Chris was getting better and better physically but along with his recovery, came new problems, reality! His condition was becoming hard for him to handle it was staring him in the face each day. No longer was he just happy with the things he could do he was mad at the things he couldn’t. 
He wanted to cry, but he can’t tears don’t come. He wants to run, but he can’t in-coordination and increased tone, don’t allow it. He wants to use his left hand to tie his shoes and button his own shirt, but the loss of fine motor skills and shaking make it so hard. He wants to express himself, but he can’t his face doesn’t show the feelings that are in his heart. These are the times that the only words that would come out of my mouth were, “You can do this, you are strong and I will help you.” “ I will not allow you to give up, and I know you will not give up on yourself.” I said these words while dodging flying objects many times. Then I would go off into another room and fill a towel with tears, come back to Chris make a joke about his throwing arm and we would move on. There is allot to be said for learning how to defuse the anger.

It became important for him to tell anyone he met what he used to be capable of doing. He didn’t want anyone to look at him with pity but wanted them to understand that this body and voice were broke and he was brain injured not that he was ignorant or stupid! He would smile in a persons face when they told him he looked good and then turn to me and say, “right, if they only knew what I was before my accident!” He so badly wanted to have his life back, and I knew I didn’t have answers, we still had no idea how much recovery he would truly have.  In late November Chris was granted convalescent leave and finally we were going to be able to go home for a little while. We would have to be back in Washington in January but a couple of months at home would be great! We had a wonderful time during the holidays with family and friends, it was really tough on them though, everyone was hearing my reports of how well he was doing and then seeing him was not what they expected, some friends just couldn’t handle coming around. 
The time passed by so fast and we had to get back up to Washington. 

Our trip back up to Washington in January 2001 had a stop along the way, Chris and I went to Ft. Bragg to spend time with his unit we attend the ALL HANDS BALL. The day before the ball, Chris was awarded the Army Achievement Medal at a luncheon held in his honor. His First Sargent gave him a dedicated print from his unit, It hangs on his wall in his room and I know he will cherish it his whole life.  It is a true tribute to the kind of soldier Chris was. The words that were read from the Army Achievement Award gave me a feeling of pride and the strength to keep pushing on. 

Chris gave a small speech thanking them all. There was not a dry eye in the house. I know that the continued support of his unit had given him the encouragement to not give up! We had a wonderful time at the ball; Chris received a standing ovation by over 300 soldiers. I shed more tears, and took with me the same pride Chris has in those men. Leaving Ft Bragg heading back to Washington the afternoon of the 13th of January was a hard day, Chris knew that his days in the Army were numbered, we were going back to Walter Reed Hospital to finish the paperwork for his Medical Board and Retirement from the Army. All I could say to him was that he would go on to have a great life and after this experience nothing can stand in his way.